Comedian and vlogger Elijah Daniel became mayor of Hell, Michigan, proceeded to ban all heterosexuals, and then was impeached. This singlehandedly saved 2017
So basically…I was taking this class called Fitness Theory and Practice. It was for a PE credit or something. There were three instructors and I just so happened to be assigned to his section of the class. As the semester went on, he and I would sort of crack jokes at each other. He was about 33, I think? So, he was pretty hip with the times and like, obviously in shape and shit (he teaches a fitness class). Eventually, I was like, “You said you do personal training, yeah? Can we like, make that a thing?” And he was like, “Yeah, fa show. Put your digits in my cellular.” So one night, he texted me and was like, “I’m about to go to the gym. Come with.” And I told him I couldn’t cause I had this health project I had to finish or something. So he says, “Bring your stuff, come to the gym with me, then come to my place after and we can work on your project.” At that point, I was like….this is weird, right? But I do anyway cause I’m a hoe. We get to his place and he’s like, “Where do you wanna start?” And I was just like, “I don’t even know. I have this project, then your project for your class, then a Bio test next week. You don’t just wanna give me an A on your project so I can work on my other stuff?” Y’all….he goes, “That’s fine.” El oh el. I was like, “Wait, what?” Then he goes, “Let’s finish your health project then we can study for your Bio test.” At this point, I’m like, is this dude a homo? Why is this happening? So, I decide to push it. I go, “It’s already hella late, I don’t know what we’re gonna get done.” He goes, “You can sleep here. We’ll study until we can’t and you can crash so you don’t have to drive to your place.” By now, I’m like, Oh… Def gay. So, because I’m me, I say, “Then I’d have to sleep on a couch and that just does not sound ideal…” He laughed and goes, “No you won’t.”
